You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
