Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
