ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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