Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
