Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
