My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
