Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
