after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
