Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
