He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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