I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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