that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
