big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
