i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
