I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
