its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
