Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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