he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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