my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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