Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

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  (410): Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer. http://tfl.nu/2her
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (814)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

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  (207): It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted.. http://tfl.nu/j3e7
  Replies (57) Good night (1020) Bad night (16071)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (986) Bad night (6075)
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  (530): View more from California

  There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

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  (530): There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them http://tfl.nu/te5k
  Replies (15) Good night (4497) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.

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  (313): I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex. http://tfl.nu/ugby
  Replies (21) Good night (6057) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.

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  (951): she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked. http://tfl.nu/fnf4
  Replies (18) Good night (4025) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair

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  (908): i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair http://tfl.nu/bwcm
  Replies (21) Good night (7208) Bad night (1124)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

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  (204): Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. http://tfl.nu/nzfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5299) Bad night (862)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.

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  (773): I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe. http://tfl.nu/xtio
  Replies (6) Good night (3091) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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  (904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again http://tfl.nu/3izm
  Replies (7) Good night (2741) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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  (301): no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue. http://tfl.nu/bg75
  Replies (4) Good night (1810) Bad night (795)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

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  (519): she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems http://tfl.nu/ja9t
  Replies (13) Good night (3475) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

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  (717): Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater http://tfl.nu/z0ly
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains

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  (302): Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains http://tfl.nu/rusa
  Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face

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  (407): Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face http://tfl.nu/1rfc
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (540)

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