ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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