Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.