It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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