At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
