also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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