There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
