Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
