like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
