I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
