Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
