she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
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May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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