Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
