no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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