In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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