We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
