You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize