what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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