No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
