The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the liver wants what the liver wants
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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