I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
