just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
