well you can't waste a boner
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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