I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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