My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
