He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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