Are we in a gay sports bar?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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