got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
