SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
