guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ketchup is God's man juice
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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