woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
third nipple confirmed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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