Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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