Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
