He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
