the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
