new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
