Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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