When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he puts the penis in happiness.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
