I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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