So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
