We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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