Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
