he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
