He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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