So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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