And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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