Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
OPIZZABONMYDICK
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
