He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
high people should be assigned attendants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
