Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
