Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
