pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
