Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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