so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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