Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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