My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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